Interacting with Families of the children in our setting
From the time of arrival to school , I heard parents getting a little hostile and aggressive with their children. Because this was a head start half day classroom, there were 2 mothers at the center for the day to help out named Diana and Joann. When the children were brought in, parents yelled at their children and it was done in front of the other children. Some of the other children looked afraid while this was going on. The children came in with aggressive behavior , crying and having tantrums. The 2 parents made comments about what they heard from the other parents. Diana stated that she would have done things a little better by talking to the child and making sure that the child felt safe while being left at school. Joann said that she wondered if they get yelled at like that at home and what else is being done in the home.
As we talked, I told the parents that there are things that can be done in the classroom that would help children to deal with certain behaviors . Because children are not born with violent tendencies they learn it from others. We can show the children effective ways of how to manage anger. Our entire curriculum revolves around teaching children how to deal with anger issues and increase their chances to be productive individuals. Diana asked me what can the teacher do to help children deal with violence. There are many things that teachers can do such as, promote positive interactions with the children and adults. This helps to build relationships between individuals and reduces problem situations.
Another way is to make sure that activities are somewhat challenging for children as this gives them the incentive to try to master them . Make sure that the activities are balanced with quiet, loud, busy, calm, and hands on. Diana said, “ I have children at home and I try to do things with them but I get tired easily and I let them play by themselves. I tell them to go watch television but they put it on scary pictures and violent things. Then at night , they have nightmares and need to be comforted to sleep. She said, I think that it is up to the parents first to make sure that our children are safe but after what I saw with those parents this morning, I see why a lot of our children act up.” Joann told me that she has grandchildren that actually see their parents fight each other and they go to school and act out what they saw. How can we expect our children to behave in a certain way if the parents have these kinds of issues. Diana tells that she shows respect for her grandchildren and they treat her like a queen and are very respectable.
Diana saw a little girl painting a picture on the easel and she was describing to the teacher assistant what she had painted. Another child came over and painted all over the child’s artwork and ripped the bottom of it. Diana walked over to the aggressive child and asked, “Why did you paint on her picture?” The child stated , “because I want to”. Diana asked her, “ Would you like it if she had done that to you?” The child ran to the other side of the room and took a toy from another child and pushed the toys on the floor. Diana followed her to the other side and she asked what happened. The boy told Diana what she had done and Diana went to the girl and brought her over to the boy. She encouraged the boy tell her how he feels. He said,” I don’t like that”. The girl helped him pick up the toys but she was hitting them hard on the table. Joann came over to talk to the girl and the girl got a lot more calm. Joann asked her to apologize to the child and she did.
I explained to the parents that there are things that can be done at home to help keep violence down to a minimum. One way is to do what they(the parents) were doing. Get involved with the child at school. There are also community resources to use if there is a suspicion of violence. We as adults need to make sure that we keep a cap on our own anger. When we yell at children it could escalate into something that spirals out of control. We need to also limit the amount of television that our children watch an what programs they watch. It takes every adult in the child’s life to help support , train, and allow the children to and feel safe at all times.
I really appreciate your point about parents needing to keep a cap on their own anger. Children learn angry yelling and shouting from whoever they hear it from-not just the TV. I have heard my own children repeat something that I say exactly, while talking to each other. I heard my daughters arguing from the other room and the younger said to the older "Don't you dare start acting like that!" This is something I say alot. I guess I need to be more careful! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAs a teacher, it is very important that we help create a positive interaction with parents.We need to keep in mind that many parents lead busy lives, but I agree they need to watch how they behave in front of the children. When a child sees their parent has a positive role in the classroom, then the child will hopefully perform better.
ReplyDeleteAs an educator in a daycare I have seen such actions of parents done in front of their children and others without regard for anyone feelings. This is too bad that some parents do not know the effect this has on their children as well as others around them. This could set the pace for the day, which is a bad pace. We as parents have to learn respect and how to treat their children as well as others in order to get a good response. Of course a child would have behavior problems behind that. Especially if they are yelled at daily and think they may think this is normal. Thank you for sharing
ReplyDeleteGreat story,
ReplyDeleteAs a parent, we can tend to blow off steam towards our children, but I bleieve that it shouldn't happen while inside a place full of children. I sometimes yell at my daugther, but then I walk away and come back to apolize to her, because she's just three and doesn't know better. Also I think the way you handle the curriculm setting was a good idea, and the parents took that your ideas into their own hands. Having positive ideas for children is a good way to prevent violent at home or school. We have to much violent in the world, we don't need it in our schools.
Joel,
ReplyDeleteIt's sad to see parents not parenting their children with respect and love. How do we 'teach' parents to parent correctly? I am sure they are modeling what they have seen and that is why it so important to have programs for these parents on parenting skills.